A Handy Guide To All Gay Men

"The gay world is often represented as some sort of monolithic whole that has the same culture. That is a lie. It is actually broken down into a handful of substrata to which each gay belongs. Here they are.

Just like the world at large may stereotype gays as mincing wrist flippers with great taste bent on giving everyone they meet a make over. A queer will tell you that we are all individuals and that those stereotypes are false and horrible. That said, when the gays see a fellow homosexual in the public sphere, we try to plug them into the convenient taxonomy the community has made for itself. That's right, we have our own stereotypes for each other, and they're much more specific than you can ever imagine. They may not be very familiar to the world at large, but they are certainly familiar to the brothers in butt fucking.

To say that each gay person belongs to one of these types is a bit deceptive. It's like saying that every woman is either a Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, or Samantha. There are plenty that fit the mold for each squarely, but most are really a combination of the types, or like to think of themselves as individuals, even though they still have many of the traits from one of the pre-selected identities. These aren't the stereotypes of the world at large, they are the ones we have invented for ourselves, and they are just as reductive. Each of the groups tend to hang around only with members of the same groups, and they all have their own bars, parties, music, customs, ways of dress, and intricate mating rituals. Please, meet the homosexuals.

Twinks
Body Type: Thin, smooth, often blond, usually with longish bangs and often with highlights.
Description: This young breed of gays is never over 30 and tends to be on the queeny side and hews closely to the conventional stereotypes of gay man. Wild, ornery, and still getting over their coming out issues, the twink is the gay gone wild, and is bait to older men who are into trying to suck off their youthful energy.
Subcategories: The Twunk, the Gay-sian, the A&F boy.
New York City Hang Out: Rush, Campus Thursdays at Splash
Diva of Choice: Lady Gaga
Preoccupations: Fashion, drama, partying, hooking up, college, coming out
Top or Bottom: Bottom
Celebrity Example: Zac Efron

Bears
Body Type: Large, hairy, often with facial hair
Description: The bigger, generally older subset of the population is new but increasingly popular both in the community and pop culture. They have their own social calendar that is well populated with events to support the flannel-clad butch lifestyle of beards and beer guts.
Subcategories: Cubs, Otters, Wolfs, Gorillas
New York City Hang Out: Woof!, Snaxx, Nowhere
Diva of Choice: Cyndi Lauper
Preoccupations: Food, hair, coming up with silly bear puns, Tom Colicchio
Top or Bottom: Bottom
Celebrity Example: Kevin Smith

Gay Jocks
Body Type: Athletic, muscular, possibly gone-to-seed
Description: This guy prides himself on the fact that no one thinks he is gay until he tells them. His love of sports is just about the only unaffected aspect of his masculinity. He wears T-shirts and ball caps with his favorite team logo, and likes guys who are "non-scene," unless the scene is a gay sports team.
Subcategories: Gay football players, gay soccer plays, gay rugby players, etc.
New York City Hang Out: Gym Bar
Diva of Choice: The guy who sings "Are You Ready for some Football."
Preoccupations: Passing, talking tough, locker rooms, fantasy football
Top or Bottom: Bottom
Celebrity Example: Esera Tualo

Circuit Boys
Body Type: Muscular, waxed, preened, most usually with tribal tattoos
Description: This subset rose to prominence in the '90s around the drug-fueled, all-night dance parties that were in different cities around the country. While it has few new recruits, its core population is die-hard and aging quickly. Many of the parties have died off, but they're still dancing to bad tribal house wherever they can.
Subcategories: Tweekers, muscle Marys, those queens who twirl flags at dance parties
New York City Hang Out: Alegria
Diva of Choice: Deborah Cox remixed by Junior Vasquez
Preoccuptions: Pecs, ecstasy, house music, conformity, backne, the afterparty
Top or Bottom: Bottom
Celebrity Example: This is such a specific type it doesn't really exists in the world at large, but the Platonic ideal of a circuit boy is DJ Brett Henrichsen

Gay-Listers
Body Type: Body toned by the personal trainer, hair done by celebrity stylist, wardrobe picked out at Barneys
Description: These are the uppity homos who live the good life, and are generally too good for you. They only like to talk to each other. They usually work in advertising, PR, marketing, or the entertainment industry and make a ton of cash which they use to have perfect apartments, fantastic wardrobes, and summer homes near all the other gay-listers. You can try to get invited to their parties, but you will never belong.
Subcategories: Power gays, the velvet mafia
New York City Hang Out: Beige
Diva of Choice: They're probably friends with Madonna
Preoccuptions: Looking good, work, HRC dinners, summering as a verb, what everyone else is doing, hooking up with each other, the steam room at the gym
Top or Bottom: Bottom
Celebrity Example: Andy Cohen


Show Queens
Body Type: They come in all shapes and sizes, from the young, spry dancer to the balding, pudgy critic.
Description: These are the kids who are so gay they could never fit in during high school and sought refuge in the music department. They have devoted their lives to performing, show tunes, and learning all the words to very obscure songs. They often work in theater or the arts in one way or another, be it on the Great White Way or as a high school drama teacher.
Subcategories: They are only defined by which diva they love most.
New York City Hang Out: Marie's Crisis
Diva of Choice: Liza, Judy, Barbra, Elaine Stritch, Patti LuPone, Ethel Merman, Sutton Foster, Bernadette Peters
Preoccuptions: Original cast recordings, collecting Playbills, karaoke, out of town previews, Puck on Glee's abs, outing Hugh Jackman
Top or Bottom: Bottom
Celebrity Example: Neil Patrick Harris

Art Fags
Body Type: Emaciated, tattooed, usually with some sort of ironic facial hair and an enormous coif.
Description: The art fag is cooler than you. He's also cooler than all your friends, and he is not afraid to show it. He is usually an artist (duh), photographer, fashion designer, band member, or something that requires a degree from RISD, FIT, or some other art school that is an acronym. He dresses either in the most current prissy fashions or like a homo version of Terry Richardson, in big glasses, flannels, and jeans that looks so thrown together that it took him hours to put together. You're more likely to find them at a gallery opening or model party, but every so often they'll be at a gay bar to rub elbows, and other parts, with the other homos.
Subcategories: Alternaqueers, gipsters
New York City Hang Out: The Cock
Diva of Choice: Peaches
Preoccuptions: The hottest club, looking down on things, cheap coke, being bohemian, the outer boroughs
Top or Bottom: Bottom
Celebrity Example: Marc Jacobs

Drag Queens
Body Type: Either big, buxom Divine style or svelte and RuPaul-esque.
Description: This is a very small but very powerful contingent of the gay population. The drag queens are not only the court jesters of the gay community, dressing up like clowns for our entertainment, but they are also a bridge to the straight world. As much as gay men appreciate the queens for their looks, wit, and shade, straight people love a drag show even more than the queers do. Somehow they manage to be the most outrageous segment of the population and the most embraced, making the rest of us look positively boring by comparison.
Subcategories: Club kids, trannies.
New York City Hang Out: Pick a bar, any bar.
Diva of Choice: Oh, honey. They are each their own diva.
Preoccuptions: Shade, wigs, annoying jerks who ask for too many drink tickets, other queens biting off their look, lip syncing, straight guys
Top or Bottom: Bottom
Celebrity Example: RuPaul"

Source by http://gawker.com and Brian Moylan (send an email to Brian Moylan, the author of this post, at brian@gawker.com)

Wedding Season Beckons: Responsibilities of the Best Man

"Being annointed best man is a great honor. With great honor comes silly responsibilities. That’s not how the saying goes, but with wedding season upon us in full swing, it seems like as appropriate time as any to let you know that being best man isn’t all lap dances and charming speeches. There’s a little bit of work in there, too.

Depending on how one views it, the role of best man could best be described as consigliere, friend, wingman, confidant, or bitch. Most people will find that the job entails parts of each of those descriptions. It’s not that much work, but as long as you realize that this day isn’t about you and you’re here to get your best friend through one of the most important weeks of his life, it shouldn’t seem quite so daunting."

Source By http://www.justaguything.com

Sexe : Etes-vous prêts pour le " polyamour " ?

le Polyamour, un concept qui rend la monogamie obsolète ! Le polyamour est une manière différente de vivre l’amour, un style d’aimer qui rend la monogamie obsolète. Au cœur du concept, on trouve l’idée de briser les normes amoureuses, la remise en question de l’exclusivité. Les adeptes du polyamour pensent qu’une seule personne ne suffit pas à combler ces besoins affectives, sentimentaux ou sexuels et que l’on a besoin de plusieurs hommes ou femmes pour trouver l'amour idéal, car la perfection de l'être humain n’existe pas ...


le Polyamour, une conception de l'amour à part entière : polyamour Souvent, lorsque l’on pense " relations à trois ", on imagine des choses terribles : trahisons, mensonges, tromperies, etc... Cela, parce que l’on suppose presque toujours qu’une personne mal intentionnée a décidé de tromper sa moitié pour une histoire de sexe. Mais parfois, il ne s’agit pas seulement de sexe, mais d’amour.

La loi ne nous autorise pas à épouser plusieurs personnes, mais on peut aimer plusieurs hommes. Nombreux sont les couples qui s’autorisent des amours multiples, comment gèrent-ils leurs relations ?

Le polyamour est une manière différente de vivre l’amour, un style d’aimer qui rend la monogamie obsolète ! Au cœur du concept, on trouve l’idée de briser les normes amoureuses, la remise en question de l’exclusivité. Et loin d’être assimilé au couple libre, le polyamour concerne la sexualité et les sentiments confondus.

Les adeptes du polyamour pensent qu’une seule personne pour toute la vie ne suffit pas à nous combler, et que l’on a besoin de plusieurs hommes ou femmes pour trouver notre " amour idéal ", car la perfection du seul être humain n’existe pas. Celui qui pratique le polyamour est toujours convaincu de ne tromper personne, il est fidèle à lui-même. C’est une véritable philosophie de vie que les polyamoureux décident de suivre.

Le polyamour, un moyen d’exprimer sa liberté : polyamour Tout le monde, au moins une fois dans sa vie, est amené à penser à deux personnes en même temps. Le " polyamour " est un néologisme qui désigne le concept de plusieurs amours. La relation polyamoureuse puise ses racines dans l’idée que l’on peut vivre plusieurs relations, amoureuses et sexuelles avec plusieurs personnes. Les adeptes du polyamour mettent l’accent sur le fait que leurs relations se fondent sur la vérité, tout doit être clair et transparent.

L’autre règle fondamentale des polyamoureux est celle du respect des autres partenaires. Rien ne doit être caché, tout se passe à la lumière du soleil. Ça signifie que les partenaires impliqués ont connaissance de l’existence des autres. Et, chaque personne concernée par la relation polyamoureuse peut avoir d’autres relations. L’homme n’est pas privilégié plus que la femme, comme cela peut être le cas dans l’infidélité classique, où l’on tolère plus facilement l’incartade masculine.

Et dans le polyamour, on ne parle pas de tromperie dans le couple. D’ailleurs le terme " couple " est interdit. Il sous-entend restrictions et compromis pour les uns, et souffrances pour les autres. Les adeptes du polyamours ne sont pas comme on les imagine. Pas de tricheurs, mais des esprits libres...

Polyamour, Une personne ne suffit pas : polyamour Devinette : quels sont les ingrédients d’une relation réussie ? Un homme qui vous fait rire, qui fait bien la cuisine, qui vous désire... et surtout, qu’aucune de ces trois personnes ne se croisent, au risque de tout voir s’effondrer ! La vision du couple classique s’étiole. Les nouvelles générations acceptent moins les compromis que leurs parents ont vécus sans se poser de question et hésitent à se lancer dans un PACS. Pourquoi se contenter d’une seule personne si on peut en avoir plusieurs ?

La complémentarité des relations permet aux polyamoureux de vivre pleinement leurs histoires, sans frustration ni regrets. Ouverts d’esprits, ils parlent plus facilement de leurs envies et de leurs besoins pour s’épanouir. La société d’aujourd’hui, encore serrée dans des carcans bien pensants, n’accepte pas encore l’idée du polyamour, même si beaucoup en rêve en secret. Sans remettre en question l’amour que l’on peut porter à une personne toute sa vie, les polyamoureux ont accepté l’idée de rencontrer d’autres personnes qui leur conviennent, à des moments de leurs vies où ils ont besoin de plus. On parle de " la bonne personne au bon moment ", sans perdre le reste.

Je suis fidèle à moi-même : polyamour Les polyamoureux risquent de ne pas être toujours compris par tout le monde. Le monde entier est formé par des couples qui ne comprennent pas les liaisons à trois, à quatre, ou à cinq. Ils ne comprennent pas qu’une personne puisse s’intéresser à plusieurs aventures en même temps, ni le fait que l’on puisse aimer plusieurs personnes à la fois. La plupart des gens peuvent accepter l’idée d’un adultère, mais pas l’idée qu’un homme ou une femme choisisse d’avoir plusieurs amours. Les polyamoureux réclament le droit d’aimer quand et comme, librement et honnêtement.

Les adeptes de cette croyance ( ou philosophie de vie ) ont une valeur primordiale : rester fidèle à eux-mêmes. Fidèles à leurs principes, ils respectent les autres. Pas de mensonge, pas de souffrance. Et le couple lui, malheureusement, engendre son lot de jalousies, de doutes et de mensonges qui font souffrir. Les adeptes du polyamour détiendraient-il la vérité ?
 
Source By Thierry Heure  (http://tbiet.blogspot.com/)  and (http://www.leuromag.com/)

Don’t Be That Guy: The Taxonomy of Lousy Male Friends

"We all know “That Guy,” and we all have at least one in our group of friends.

He’s the one scalawag who is generally pleasant to hang out with except for one glaringly painful characteristic. Although there are different species of That Guy, some far more deplorable than others, they all have one thing in common: they often piss their friends off without knowing it.

Today, you’ll learn about the various forms of That Guy, how to react should you find one in your midst, and how to evolve in case you are That Guy.

The Poor Sport (Crybabial Sporticus)

Characteristics: The Poor Sport is dreadful to play against in any sporting event or competition. He complains incessantly about bad foul calls in pick-up basketball, a weekend golf match among friends causes a temporary loss of arithmetic skills, and he will never accept blame for a loss, no matter the occasion. The cards are unlucky in a bad poker loss, the controller is faulty in a video game defeat, and the racquet is the reason for a poor tennis performance. In his own mind, he can do no wrong.

How to deal with That Guy: To start, don’t let him get away with cheating. If you know he counted incorrectly in golf, kindly remind him about the six shots it took him to get out of the bunker. If you defeat him in any competition, brace yourself for a torrent of expletives and excuses, but don’t fan the flames. Although you might want to defend your stellar performance or yell at him for being a crybaby, everybody around you already knows the truth: your friend is a sore loser.

How to evolve if you are That Guy: Go ask a few people about their worst “bad beat” in poker. Exhausted of the complaining yet? This is what you sound like to your friends ALL THE TIME. First of all, stop cheating in golf – your life won’t change if you post a 79 or a 119, and your friends ARE keeping track of your score whether they admit it or not. Show a little sportsmanship and integrity. If you lose to your friends at Halo, pick-up basketball, tennis, scrabble, bocce, cards, whatever – take it like a man, and accept defeat. Everybody loses at some point and nobody wants to hear excuses. Get over it.

The Mooch (Dudicus Moochalum)

Characteristics: The Mooch never has any money, brings any food, or provides any shelter; he instead leeches off of those around him. Think Cosmo Kramer in real life. The cause is most likely an allergic reaction to ambition. The last beer in the case, the final ice cream bar in the freezer, and any leftovers in the fridge tend to disappear whenever he’s around. A Mooch’s wallet gets “accidentally” left at home quite frequently, and he is always a pain to track down for repayment of money borrowed.

How to deal with That Guy: The Mooch usually understands his unfortunate situation, but he’s often too lazy to do anything about it. If you’re feeling magnanimous, help him find a job; just be careful who you recommend him to because it’s your reputation that’s at stake. Now, until he finds employment, do what you can to keep him him in line: keep track of how much money you’ve loaned him and consider charging 10% interest each week until the debt is repaid. Don’t be afraid to call him out when he eats the last Oreo either, because that’s just not cool.

How to evolve if you are That Guy: Stop being lazy and get a job (and if you have a good job, quit mooching: the only thing worse than a poor mooch is a well-off cheapskate). Secondly, NEVER take the last one of something that isn’t yours unless you plan on replacing it. Try chipping in every once and awhile too – show up unexpectedly with a case of beer or volunteer to buy the first round of drinks. I don’t care if you have to rob somebody first, always repay your financial debts to friends within 24 hours, no exceptions. Now, if you already have a job and you’re still poor, find another way to contribute: are you a good cook? Do you have connections at a restaurant or movie theater? Do what you can to make up for your lack of funding – your friends will appreciate it.

Mr. Unreliable (Amigus Bail’Outicum)

I told the flake to pick me up at 7. Damnit!

Characteristics: It’s never known if Mr. Unreliable is actually going to show up, no matter how many promises have been made. He often signs up for an engagement before backing out at the last minute. “On time” to him usually means at least an hour late. Getting Mr. Unreliable to commit to something that requires an upfront financial deposit is like pulling teeth. Rather than saying no to an obligation, he’ll give a noncommittal answer that allows him to bail out at the last minute with a lame excuse via text message, thus avoiding confrontation.

How to deal with That Guy: Always expect Mr. Unreliable to not show up, and then be pleasantly surprised if he does! If you’re planning a trip with him, make sure to get some sort of financial commitment before putting up your own money – when he tries to back out this time, allow him to only do so if he can find a replacement. At that point, it’s no longer your responsibility. Not surprisingly, you should rely upon Mr. Unreliable as little as possible.

How to evolve if you are That Guy: Your friends don’t think you’ll show up to anything anymore, and eventually they’ll just stop calling. Change that perception by actually showing up to stuff consistently! What a novel idea, I know. Now, if you get invited to an event you don’t want to attend, be up front with your friends and tell them not to expect you. Lastly, start showing up on time. Arriving late consistently tells your friends that your time is more valuable than theirs. Show up at the right place at the right time.

The One-Upper (Betterum Than’Youicus)

Characteristics: Reeking of superiority and elitism, the One-Upper is a constant name-dropper of famous people and locations. During story time, the One-Upper must always ensure that he appears the strongest, best, had the toughest life growing up, drank the most beers, and/or met the coolest people. This is mostly due to a strong sense of insecurity, causing a need for constant affection and attention.

How to deal with That Guy: As tempting as it is to get into a pissing match with the One-Upper, the best course of action is to give him his small moment of glory, because he clearly needs it. As explained in Ben Franklin’s Virtuous Life Series, “People may talk about that guy’s exciting story the next day, but they’ll remember how much of a gentleman you are years later.” Be thankful you don’t base your self-worth on how much attention you can get. Go about your business, do great work, and the results will speak for themselves.

How to evolve if you’re That Guy: Nobody really cares how many famous people you know, how much you can bench, or how much better you are at something than everybody else. Start by letting other people have the spotlight every once and a while; continually one-upping your friends is a surefire way to piss everybody off. Instead, pick your battles and share stories when appropriate – not to brag, not to show off, but just to share a great story.

The Fibber (Fullofum Crapolakis)

Characteristics: The Fibber can stretch the truth like a penny-pincher can stretch a dollar. Known to tell dull stories that suddenly become way more exciting (and ultimately completely unbelievable), The Fibber is also known for creating inane excuses when trying to weasel out of any scenario. The Fibber is closely related to Mr. Unreliable and the Poor Sport for similar “lack of truth” qualities.

How to deal with That Guy: Take everything The Fibber says with a grain of salt and don’t bother wasting your time trying to trap him in a lie: he’ll simply get defensive and start weaving another web of lies. Just be thankful that you’re not a liar and take solace in the fact that people can rely on your word. Now, if the lies start to become disruptive to the group, pull the person aside and have a serious conversation about the lies in private rather than calling him out in public.

How to evolve if you’re That Guy: You know you’re lying, your friends know you’re lying, and that hole you’re digging for yourself is only getting deeper. Instead of creating new tall tales and more complex lies to cover for the old ones, just freaking tell the truth and wait until you actually have a good story to tell! Your conscience will thank you and so will your buddies.

Other Lesser Known Species of That Guy

Other than the five prominent species of That Guy listed above, there are actually quite a few others who might be lesser known but are no less abysmal:

The Flip Flopper (Fencium Sitterus) – Having no opinion of his own, the Flip Flopper will alter his beliefs depending on who he’s talking to and who he’s trying to impress. He is generally classified as an invertebrate for lacking a backbone.

The Loud Mouth (Pieholus Gigantum) – This chump cannot keep his mouth shut, whether it’s keeping a secret, talking during a movie, or putting down another friend when he’s not around. The Loud Mouth generally should not be trusted with any important information unless it needs to be shouted from the rooftops.

The “Takes It Too Far” Guy (Over The’Lineicus) This poor soul lives life to the extreme a little too often. He’s generally the one that always gets WAY too drunk at parties, takes jokes too far after they’ve become unfunny, and gets offended over things that nobody else would ever take personally. Tact is pretty much non-existent.

“The Garbage Man” (In’lovum with Jesses’girlikus) – The Garbage Man has no problem attempting to date his friend’s ex-girlfriend, because he lacks the skills to move outside of the social circle and meet new people. The most despicable variation of this species will attempt to date his friend’s current girlfriend, which generally results in an ass-kicking.

How do you deal with That Guy?

How did you deal with That Guy in your group? Are you a reformed That Guy and want to tell your success story? ..."

Source By Guest (http://artofmanliness.com/)

PS.: Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Steve Kamb (http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog)

Sida: Capote or not capote? La prévention chez les gays

Alors qu'un désamour du préservatif se fait sentir dans la population gay, la trithérapie apparaît comme un complément à la prévention. Vingt-huit ans après son apparition, le virus du sida continue de se propager. Particulièrement touchée par l'épidémie, la population homosexuelle masculine constitue le groupe où l'on observe le plus de nouvelles contaminations. Une incidence et une prévalence au VIH fortes font que le risque de contamination y est très élevé. Les comportements préventifs s'érodent, augmentant les « chances » d'infection. Derrière ce bien sombre tableau se cache tout de même une lueur d'espoir. Les trithérapies pourraient changer la donne, dans le bon sens.

L'hécatombe continue : Alors que le nombre de nouveaux cas d'infections au sida diminue globalement en France, il demeure élevé au sein de la communauté gay. Avec 3 320 nouvelles contaminations en 2008, les hommes ayant des rapports sexuels avec des hommes (HSH) sont les plus touchés par le virus du sida. Chaque jour en France, neuf homosexuels découvrent donc leur séropositivité. Le taux d'incidence ( nombre de personnes contaminées sur un an ) rapporté à l'effectif total de cette population, est de 1%, soit 200 fois plus que chez les hétérosexuels.

Emmanuel Château, membre de la commission prévention d'Act Up Paris, évoque les raisons du dynamisme de l'épidémie en milieu gay : " On est dans une situation un peu paradoxale : les gays se protègent plus que tout le monde ; comme il y a plus de séropositifs et aussi plus de partenaires, le risque est plus important qu'ailleurs ".

Anne Armand, pharmacienne vacataire, référent VIH à l'hôpital Bon Secours à Metz, s'inquiète d'une nouvelle recrudescence de l'épidémie, car le chiffre des nouvelles infections homosexuelles avoisine ceux du début des années 2000.

Avec un taux de prévalence ( nombre de séropositifs dans une population déterminée ) aux alentours de 10% et une incidence élevée, l'épidémie est loin de s'essouffler en milieu gay. Des études arrivent même à un constat alarmant, comme l'explique Jean Luc Ferry, coordinateur de la délégation de la Moselle d'Aides : " On extrapole qu'aux alentours de 2050, un gay sur deux pourrait être séropositif ".



La capote n'a plus la cote : L'enquête Prévagay, réalisée par l'INVS ( Institut national de veille sanitaire ) auprès des HSH fréquentant les lieux de convivialité gay parisiens, a estimé que le taux d'incidence dans cette population était de 7,5%. Même s'il s'agit d'une population spécifique, ces chiffres montrent que l'épidémie pourrait se répandre encore plus vite et toucher bien plus qu'un gay sur deux... Fer de lance de la lutte contre le sida depuis près de trente ans, le préservatif semble, pour certains gays, avoir fait son temps. Le " sortez couvert " devenu culte s'essouffle. Selon des études conjointes de l'INVS et de l'ANRS ( Agence nationale de recherches sur le sida et les hépatites virales ) : " (... ) Les rencontres multiples et brèves, souvent anonymes, constitutives de l'identité homosexuelle, s'accompagnent d'un abandon de plus en plus fréquent du préservatif ".

Le sida apparaît plus comme une maladie chronique : En plus du désamour des gays envers le préservatif, le virus lui-même commence à lasser. " Aujourd'hui, le sida n'apparaît plus comme une maladie mortelle, mais plus comme une maladie chronique ", explique Christian, bénévole chez Aides. Michel Celse, rapporteur du Conseil national du sida, évoque les raisons de cette chute des comportements préventifs classiques.

En effet, les choses ont changé dans la sexualité gay. Le " safe sex " séduit de moins en moins. Un responsable d'Aides déplore : " Aujourd'hui, il est presque de bon ton de baiser sans capote ".

Pour justifier ce rejet progressif du latex, tout est bon. Florilège des explications du milieu, sur des images de la campagne de prévention de l'INPES de 2008. ( Voir la vidéo san le billet ci-dessous ).

Franck, patron du Men's club, un sauna gay, estime que l'efficacité des traitements antirétroviraux pousse certains hommes d'âge mur à ne plus se protéger.

Laurent Schultze, responsable de l'association Emergences, dresse le même constat chez les jeunes : " Pour eux, c'est le " no capote " qui prime. Ils se disent que le VIH n'existe plus parce qu'il y a la trithérapie ". Pourtant, comme l'explique Christian, la trithérapie demeure un traitement lourd, et à vie.

Prendre des risques à moindre risque : L'arrivée des trithérapies en 1996 a révolutionné le traitement de la maladie, en empêchant l'évolution du VIH chez les personnes infectées. Le premier bénéfice de ces antirétroviraux a été d'augmenter considérablement l'espérance de vie des séropositifs.

En 2008, une annonce est venue bouleverser toute la stratégie de prévention dans la lutte contre le sida. Le docteur Hirschel affirmait en effet que : " Toute personne séropositive ne souffrant d'aucune MST et suivant un traitement antirétroviral avec une virémie entièrement supprimée ne transmet pas le virus par voie sexuelle ". De nombreuses polémiques ont vu le jour après cette déclaration, médecins et associations craignant que des dérives apparaissent.

Depuis, le soufflé est un peu retombé et le Conseil national du sida a rendu en avril dernier un avis favorable à l'utilisation du traitement comme outil de prévention. Pour Christian, séropositif sous traitement efficace, la trithérapie peut permettre sous certaines conditions une nouvelle sexualité. Mathieu Follea, chargé de prévention grand Est du Syndicat national des entreprises gaies (SNEG), atteste lui aussi de l'intérêt préventif du traitement.

" Un couple dont un partenaire est séropositif, l'autre est séronégatif, si le partenaire séropositif (... ) a un traitement suffisamment efficace pour atteindre ce qu'on appelle une " charge virale indétectable ", il est beaucoup moins contaminant. […] C'est scientifiquement prouvé ".

Michel Celse du CNS estime : " ( Qu' ) il y a tout un champ qui s'ouvre avec la question de l'usage du traitement en prévention. Ça réduit de manière extrêmement forte le risque de transmettre le virus. Ce n'est pas une protection absolue, il existe un risque résiduel, mais c'est un outil intéressant ".

Le traitement constitue un outil de prévention utile, notamment en direction des gays qui sont déjà en situation d'échappement vis-à-vis du préservatif. « Il est indéniable que le traitement a sa place dans la prévention », souligne le rapporteur du CNS.

Une éradication possible du sida pour 2050 : Même si le préservatif ( bien utilisé ) reste la norme indiscutable en matière de protection, il faut maintenant " marier traitement et prévention ", comme le martèle le docteur Myron Cohen, professeur de médecine et microbiologie. Au vu des contaminations en milieu gay, toutes les méthodes permettant de réduire les risques de contaminations doivent être intégrées dans les actions de prévention. Bien utilisé, le traitement antirétroviral est l'outil le plus puissant ( après le préservatif ) en matière de réduction du risque de transmission et, du coup, en matière de contrôle de l'épidémie.


Jean Luc Ferry insiste sur l'effet positif d'une généralisation du traitement au plus grand nombre de personnes séropositives.




Michel Celse appuie : " Si la prévalence diminue, on rentre dans un cercle vertueux qui fait qu'au fur et à mesure qu'elle diminue, le risque d'exposition diminue, le nombre de nouvelles contaminations aussi et ainsi de suite ".

Organisation mondiale de la santé arrive également à cette conclusion. En favorisant le dépistage annuel de toute la population sexuellement active et en mettant sous traitement immédiatement les personnes infectées, on pourrait conduire à l'éradication de l'épidémie pour 2050.

Et si on n'avait plus besoin de vaccin...

Source By http://www.rue89.com and Thierry Heure

BBC NEWS/Middle East/Phone technology aids UAE dating

Aproveitando para falar de relationship aqui em Dubai, e muito crucial para os que vivem aqui, como ja falei uma vez e muito complicado mesmo, por exemplo se voce tem uma namorada ou vise-versa, nao e permitido uma serie de coisas em publico, como por exemplo uma demonstracao de carinho e por ai vai...e caso de voce levar uma multa por parte da policia e segurancas de shopping's e parques e as vezes preso e aguardar o processo de deportacao como ja vi em muitos casos por aqui.

As part of a series on young people in the Middle East, the BBC News website discovers how technology is aiding the secret liaisons of young men and women in the conservative culture of the United Arab Emirates.


Bluetooth user Ahmed says he is into poem

It happens in malls, cinemas and cafes - in Dubai's notorious traffic jams, and now by mobile phone.

Many of the city's black-shrouded UAE girls say they cannot check out the latest fashions in Zara or sip a smoothie in a cafe without being bombarded with the phone numbers of hopeful admirers.

Among UAE nationals - as the minority of the UAE's residents that are not expatriates are called - it is generally considered impolite for a man to speak to a woman he is neither married nor related to in public.

Traditionally, a young man's first amorous approach to a woman is supposed to be a marriage proposal made by his parents to her parents.

But the cards, scraps of paper and mobile phone messages that pass from male to female are testament to the double existence of some young UAE nationals as they take their love lives into their own hands.

Wireless advances

One technology is proving particularly useful.

"Our governments are all corrupt and, though there is some change for the better, nothing is really improving"
Rasha, Bahrain


Bluetooth is a feature built into some mobile phones which enables the user to transfer data to another wireless device nearby.

But crucially, it also enables one person to contact another within a 10 metre radius without knowing their phone number.

Ahmed Bin Desmal's friends joke that he is a "Bluetooth king". The 20-year-old says he has used the technology to send notes to girls he sees in public places.

"In our country it's very rude to go up and talk to them," he says. "I sent some notes, they liked them - they took my number and they called me. I say nice things - I'm into poems."

While to many like Ahmed, Bluetooth is just a way to start a conversation, for some it can go much further.


Usually only married or engaged UAE couples go out in public
Mohammed, 24, does not know how many girlfriends he has had. He prefers expat girls because he can take them to the beach or to parties, but finds Bluetooth useful when pursuing locals.

"In some areas you can't talk to a girl except through Bluetooth."

His flirtations by phone and other means sometimes end in sex. Even with national girls, it is possible to keep it secret: "Hotels, flats, houses, anything - there's always a way," he says.

But he wants to marry a virgin eventually: "The girls I have sex with are different from the girls I would marry - these girls want to play around," he says.

Choosing a wife

But not all are like this - far from it. At Dubai Men's College I meet several bright, studious young men.



I don't think I'd have a love marriage - family marriage is a bit more risk-free
Maryam Abdullah Bin Bilaila, 19

Most want to wait until they are established in careers and in their late twenties before marrying. Few have had friendships that would approach the Western definition of a girlfriend.

"If I tell you I don't think about it, it's a lie. Every day I meet a lot of women, but in the end if you can control yourself that's something good," says Salim Alakraf, 25.

For them the issue is how much they will be involved in choosing their wife.

"Nowadays people are really open-minded, although we still follow our culture. If I'm working with a girl and I think she is suitable for me, I can ask my family to go and ask her family about her to see if she is suitable," says Saeed Suwaidi, 27, the leader of the student council.

'Perfect talk'

Among national girls, it is virtually impossible for a young woman to admit to clandestine meetings with boys, although from the tales young men tell, it is clear that these take place.


Bluetooth can be used to locate and contact nearby devices
Even being friends with such a girl can damage a reputation, a word that comes up often.

And while some would like to meet their future husband "by coincidence" or through work, there is still caution about "love marriages".

"I don't think I'd have a love marriage. It's not that I don't want one, but our contact with guys is not that good, and a guy talks his perfect talk when he sees a girl so it could be a misjudgement. Family marriage is a bit more risk-free," says accounting student Maryam Abdullah Bin Bilaila, 19.

Instant messaging

But other young people are treading a cautious, secretive path towards love marriages, aided by technology.

Ahmed, 26, is in love with his girlfriend of five years, but neither of their families know.


"Dubai's traffic jams provide opportunities to exchange numbers
They talk often by mobile phone, but their meetings are limited to the 10 minutes between her leaving work and arriving home."

"Yes, I think I will marry her. We've had a long relationship, for five years. She knows all my secrets, I know her secrets," he says.

And Saud, 22, met the girl he describes as his girlfriend two years ago on the internet, through instant messaging software.

Although they talk on the phone, he has seen her only five or six times, by following her from a distance as she shops with her family in a mall. He says she's beautiful.

But, while the couple are finding ways around their society's cultural mores, for them, as for many young people, the consequences of being caught remain all too real.

"We are afraid someone from her family will see and there could be big problems which would mean we couldn't ever marry," says Saud.

Some names have been changed to protect the interviewees' identities.

Source by By Heather Sharp
BBC News, Dubai (Friday, 29 July 2005, 15:53 GMT 16:53 UK )

♥Valentine's Day!

"In this month of love I felt it appropriate to write about how we express love with each other and the implications that it may have depending on geography. I visited Jerusalem several years ago and have never forgotten the feeling of injustice I felt when a Palestinian shopkeeper started screaming eptihets in Arabic (you could tell because of the hand gestures) at a straight couple stopping in the market's passageway to kiss each other while holding hands. While being a romantic Kodak moment to my eyes, in Islam (Sharia law) public displays of affection are forbidden and considered offensive, even punishable by prison (yes prison) no matter what country you come from. The couple was so offended and afraid that they walked away very quickly in bewilderment from the angered shopkeeper. I truly felt bad for these two innocent human beings forbidden from loving each other and sharing a beautiful moment, in a city where so many have died for literally thousands of years because of religion and continue to so to this day. Irony is everywhere.
Different cultures express love in so many different ways but thankfully we live in a country where we have a magnaminous new president that enjoys a healthy and happy relationship so much so that he has no qualms with PDA, even on stage at his inauguration. Obama and Michelle have been the most affectionate first couple I've ever seen in my lifetime. I don't think George Bush ever even laid his hands on Laura in the entire 8 years of his presidency. In America it is safe to show affection to one another. Thankfully, the religious right in this country hasn't removed that freedom from us.....yet.
In a country not so far away like Malaysia, it is so offensive to kiss that a tourist couple almost got put in jail for a year for it. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4879248.stm
Imagine that you are a adventurous, young, gay couple and you decide to take a trip to see one of the wonders of the modern world; the Petronas towers in Kuala Lumpur and you decide to take a picture of yourselves kissing underneath the famous air bridge that unites the two buildings. You could find yourself instantly handcuffed and crammed into a surreal 3rd world jail cell a' la Midnight Express.

Since we DON'T live in Jerusalem, Malaysia, Dubai or Iran, etc. then why don't us gays seem absolutely devoid of the ability to show any type of affection for each other in public? Do we fear the anti-gay ghestapo will rappel down from a helicopter and whisk us away to concentration camps? Will latin american gun-men shoot us point blank against a concrete wall? None of the above...why because we live in a FREE and modern country that has no laws against any public displays of affection. This includes everyone gays, lesbians, straight, bisexual, etc. While we wouldn't exactly choose to make out or hold hands in the middle of Yeehaw Junction, Florida we should be able to express our love for one another in an honest, subtle manner whenever we feel so inclined in the same way that straight or bi-racial couples do. Being a Miami native, as a kid we'd go to Disney every summer and I'd often stare at young couples waiting in line, appreciating how they would lean and kiss each other's cheeks while waiting to get on the next ride. I wished that when I grew up I could do the same with my partner. Some 20 odd years later, I CAN do that and do even if it does make my current boyfriend uncomfortable or fearful. I stick to my guns and my belief that one of the most beautiful things to see in this life is people freely showing the love they have for each other at any given moment. It was a pleasing sight at my neighborhood Target to see an attractive blonde girl feeding a chocolate kiss to her black boyfriend and he responding with a sweet pop kiss to her mouth. How wonderful that they can feel free enough to express themselves like that in today's America, then I paused to ask myself when will that time come for "the gays"?

I don't mean we have to be all over each other all of the time but when it's a moment that you feel love for the person you are with, the most natural thing reaction is for you to show it. It takes effort to hold it in and why would you? It's as simple as squeezing their hand while walking, rubbing their backs or even yes god forbid, a pop kiss. If people can say "awww" and find the beauty in two dogs kissing in Lady and the Tramp then I have absolutely no doubt they would find our moments of true and honest love to be equally endearing.
The primary defense that religions use against Gays showing affection in public is that it is damaging to children. After coming back from a recent Carnival Cruise I can confidently tell you what I find offensive and disturbing to children. Obesity is offensive. Families allowing their children to be obese, stuffing their faces at a buffet 5 times a day is offensive. Bad taste in clothing is offensive. Hairy backs on men roasting in the sun is offensive. Extreme acts of violence shown on the afternoon news are offensive. Images of Jesus Christ dead and nailed to a cross are deeply disturbing, people wearing sandals with fungus infected toe nails is disturbing. What messages do those things tell the children of the world? Do we gays really believe that the expression of our love is more offensive than the examples I've described above? Really? What gives them the right to be out and proud with their nasty-as-they-wanna-be-selves and us not to be?

In the same fashion that some gays still remain in the closet even though thousands are out and proud, this is just another form of self-inflicted repression. As I've said before, fear is part perception and part reality. It is a human right in the United States and other democratic countries to be able to express affection for the ones you love within the norms of society, of course. I don't think anyone wants to see two people slobbering all over each other at a dinner table, unless you're a pervert but at the same time you wouldn't arrest them from doing so. You have the choice of just looking away. T'is the beauty of living in a free country.

I'd love to see the day when gay and lesbian couples all over America and other free nations, show the world that we don't just have hot sex but that we do love, we do express affection for one another, that our love is true and yes, inoffensive. Just make sure you aren't in Dubai before you do (that goes for the straights too).

A warning from the UK to travelers visiting arabic countries: http://www.newser.com/story/46369/no-pda-cheating-in-muslim-nations-uk-warns-travelers.html

*Thanks a.: posted by ericinmiam

Moro aqui no Oriente Medio, e receio em dizer que tanto para homem e mulher, e complicado as vezes voce manifestar gestos de carinho em publico. Sem falar de outras coisas e absurdos que acontece neste Pais. Mais como digo, cada um na sua, mais com muita atencao em tudo e a todos, especialmente aqui.